Jokes of a snail and a tortoise

3 more posts to break my record of total no. of posts in a month, so far, my highest record is 15 posts per month, this month I've already had 13 posts, and today is 29th Sep. So, besides this, tomorrow I'll do 2 posts. yeah!!

I always saw this snail in the calamansi plant in my garden, it is very very tiny, and I was wondering, what's it doing there? what do snail eat? how did it get to the calamansi? farmer hates snails because they eat their vegetable/ fruits, but what's it role in our eco-system? How many type of snail in the world? which is edible? Of course this little snail on my plant is too cute for me to hate nor I want to cook and eat it.

I remember a joke: a tortoise is walking in a road and he met a snail, the tortoise sees the snail crawling very slowly, so he offered:" young man, come up to my shell, I'll give you a ride". The snail was too happy to accept the offer and so, they travel together. Later on the road, they saw an ant, he was running so fast but his legs are too short, so, the kind tortoise offered him a ride too. When the ant went up to the top of tortoise shell, he saw snail, you know what advice did the snail give to the ant?

Ans: Hold it tight, the tortoise is running very fast... :p

Then another one, which is also similar:

One day, when a snail was walking in the garden, then a tortoise passed by and accidentally stepped on the snail. Later the snail was sent to a hospital, when he woke up, the police asked him:" tell me what had happened to you?", the snail replied:" I don't know, everything was happened so fast!" lol

this is even funnier, but I think need to stay in Chinese:
乌龟受伤.让蜗牛去买药。过了2个小时.蜗牛还没回来。
乌龟急了骂道:他妈的再不回来老子就死了!
这时门外传来了蜗牛的声音:你他妈再说老子不去了!

wahahahahahahahaahhahaa